


Everything is fine, Nothing is broken

by Tbikape



Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: (It gets better but not yet), Angst, Dubious self care, Eating Disorders, F/M, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, I am aro ace but am trying my best to write characters that aren't, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loneliness, Nightmares, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, You ever get so mad at your own fic that you spend a month in another?, unreality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28411044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tbikape/pseuds/Tbikape
Summary: A series of interviews follows the members of the NSR event being interviewed, but how do they act when the lens of a camera turns off?
Relationships: Mayday/Zuke (No Straight Roads)
Kudos: 6





	Everything is fine, Nothing is broken

**Author's Note:**

> Mayday was now in a relationship. It was official. So why did she feel so horrible? It was almost as if the added pressure of figuring out what upgrading from "friends" to "couple" is was only making things worse for both her and Zuke. To make matters worse, everyone had given up on finding a way home so easily! She knew if there was a way to this world, there had to be a way back. There had to be...then everything would get better, right?

There were certain things Mayday didn't tell Zuke. He didn't really need to know. Hearing about when they first met ripped open a wound that she was quick to bandage with any excuse she could. It wasn't that she wasn't a little homesick, sure, anyone would be after about five months in a new world, but it was more that she wasn't the same person he met that day. Not physically but mentally. Heck, she still used her old name back then. She'd buried her past like the dead animal it was. To hear about it, even in passing, caused her to get upset. Even moreso now that she was visiting a whole new world. The thoughts chased her as she was presented with a moderately sized T.V. to leap through.

It would be beyond rude to rush Zuke for his fucky nerves. She had to slowly wait for the man to limp over to their exit. He sucked in air through his teeth as he contemplated jumping. Diana almost made the mistake of recommending a wheelchair but, as usual, Mayday intercepted the question before Zuke could go on a rant. She had his back both here and there. It didn't help that he was unusually active and aggravated as of late. Thankfully his leg had already started to get better, but it was still a painful chore for the man to stand or walk. Peripheral neuropathy was a bitch.

  
"Last one there is a rotten egg!" Mayday yelled as she yanked Zuke's arm so he'd topple face-first into the T.V. after her. She waved without looking back as the strange feeling of sinking into the digital realm engulfed her. It was tingly but not unpleasant.

  
Mayday got hit with Zuke after tumbling back out of the TV. His drumstick cane hit the pile of people and bounced off harmlessly. She let out a grunt of discomfort while shoving him off her back; predictably, he started apologizing.

"Don't sweat it. You didn't land on me on purpose," she reassured.

The man smiled somewhat awkwardly. God, he was cute as hell. Mayday offered him his drumsticks like a bouquet. He chuckled and drew her close for a hug. Strangely, she could feel some aggravation in the room.

They heard someone clear their throat. Tila withdrew her hand from the monitor to dismiss the current domain. Ah. Her bad. Save the flirty shit for their room.

"Sorry Tila."

She didn't speak. She hadn't spoken since they got to the news. She'd agree to be a transport, but she just shut down every time she'd been pressured to say a word. Zuke thanked her politely. She nodded and gestured to the door. Yeahhhh... they should probably not be in the Sayu team rooms for long.

It was a short walk past the common area to theirs. They spotted DJ Sub Sandwich and Neon J silently cuddling on the new (stolen) couch. It was only polite to give the newer couple a wave as well-it wouldn't be long before they'd be able to shove all of the stolen furniture back to the locations they'd nabbed it from. Still, it fueled her kleptomaniacal tendencies well to have a big thumbs up from Kul Fyra to borrow furniture for their collective sake while they waited to figure out what went wrong. TIla had been a surprisingly competent ally for it despite her reportedly new sheepishness.

Everyone else had given up on going home but Mayday. If they got here then there HAD to be a way back. She layered Zuke and her room in things she'd bring back. From music to books to pictures of art. It looked like a dissonant nightmare. Even if her past chased her there, she'd bring back a golden shining trophy of culture to personally bury it. She'd emerge with an actual relationship, mounds of material, and perhaps a whole 'nother version of humanity! Eat _that,_ you superstitious motherfuckers! Her paternistic coloboma didn't mean shit! But first, should she try to help Zuke? He was clearly beyond stressed after appearing in public again. Haha-should she even try this time? Welp. Better to try than give up.

Zuke put down his new phone on the small table next to the 'To Read' bookpile. He sighed and slumped into the couch that Mayday and he had bought from ad revenue on their meager sources of income.  
She scooched up to him. "I miss seeing you in your titty-window shirt."  
"PLEASE don't call it a titty-window shirt."  
"It doesn't really matter what I call it." Her hand planted itself squarely in the middle of the shirt's opening. "It gives me a nice starting point." She whispered. Her hand began to slide downwards slowly.

He raised his hand quickly from underneath her arm, yanking her away from him. His eyes were wide open. He took a deep breath.

"I-I don't think now is a good time. I'm really freaked out. S-sorry." He continued, but now with a practiced air. "No, I swear I'm not ace, yes I find you attractive, yes I do want to eventually have sex, just- when I'm a bit less busy is all.... I want it to mean something, you know? So just... wait for me ok?"  
She answered with a nod and a fake smile. His was genuine. She could tell by the feeling of released tension in the air.  
"B-but... it does mean something... At least take up meditating again or something. You've been so stressed lately. If you don't want me to help with that then maybe we could try a puzzle together or something? Anything to take your mind off of work..."  
"NothanksI'mfine. I just need to keep working on stuff. Tomorrow I'll get with DJ Subatomic and schedule an interview time. I'm thinking he'd be fine with waiting a week for our hype to die down. Plus you saw how those people looked at us. Like we were... less? I dunno. I want to brief DJ Supernova on that. You know how fragile he is. I'm thinking around noon?"  
He reached over to the phone.  
"Yeah. He's open then. Hold on, I got a schedule conflict. I'm helping Yinu's mom at twelve thirty. It'll take at least two hours for him to stop talking. Maybe if I move thiiisss...."  
He slid his finger across the screen. His words blended together into incomprehensible mush. She got up from her seat. He didn't flinch. She slunk around the couch in a half-hearted attempt to at least lighten the mood. Her hand must have been inches away from him before he pulled his head forward. At first she thought she'd gone too far. Then she was surprised with uproarious laughter.

"Did you just try to grab my hair?"  
"Noooooo..."  
"You know you'll never be able to sneak around me."  
"It won't stop me from trying. One day I'm going to, and then who'll be laughing then?!"  
"I don't know-" Zuke turned around to face her. He was grinning. "Maybe existence?"  
"I mean me, but I'd kinda want to know what existence laughing sounds like. Probably sounds more like a burp."  
He tsked. "Where do you even come up with that?"  
"I 'unno? Space?"

He shook his head affectionately. "Heh. Pulling ideas from the universe itself and you don't even have Dali's stache. Takes real talent to just be an idea magnet without antennae."  
Her face scrunched in confusion. "Are you talking about the pizza guy?"  
He booped her nose affectionately. "You are so god-dammed adorable. Sorry about earlier, by the way. I promise we'll get around to it. I just... need more time." Zuke yawned. "See you in bed?"  
"Yeah. I'll be there soon!" She waved enthusiastically.

As soon as the door closed, her face dropped. They'd been official for five months after knowing each other for four years. Had she been too demanding? It'd been a full week since she'd even mentioned anything. Was she wrong in being frustrated by the wait? Was... was she being too loose? Wasn't it ok for _couples_ to screw occasionally? What made being a _couple_ different from being "just friends" anyhow?  
She didn't know much about _couples_ admittedly. Most of her education was behind a screen when she was little. She did try sneak out of the apartments her dad moved to for a while until she turned eight. But life didn't like people who looked different. Her hand drifted to her back (she was glad she didn't remember much of that encounter.) Still, being kept inside for safety made her inept in a lot of areas. Her unfortunate run in with the world outside after his passing had made her just as inept in other areas as well. Actual couple stuff included. Maybe she was just being stupid. That was always a possibility. She'd read enough comments about that.

Did he even actually want this at all? No, he said he was interested. She had to believe he actually wanted her. In the meantime there would always be porn to occupy her. She frustratedly pulled up a website and scrolled fanfiction until she found something promising and non-ew. She didn't even understand half of the tags but damn if she didn't care at the moment. She needed something. She was going to be a little late to the big spoon tonight.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The scene is right after the satellite was transformed. She's covered in sticky glitter. People crowd around holding various signs proclaiming their love for either EDM or rock. She can't seem to pin the words down no matter how hard she tries. They float and transform like unwilliing ghosts captured on paper. There is a familiar voice coming in front of her.

"And as a first step, I am pleased to personally offer you two a position in the new NSR Party."

She was taken aback.

"It would mean a great deal to us if you could join our cause. What say you?"

"Yes." She could barely answer. Her words felt alien. When she turned to Zuke, something felt... wrong. He smiled so genuinely; it was like all the warmth in the world was backing her up. Something was off about his skin. Something was off about his teeth, his eyes, his hair. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. For some reason, she didn't respond to it and even smiled back. When she turned to Tatiana that same gnawing feeling that something was off followed even if she never seemed to act on it. Tatiana nodded. Mayday ran into the woman's embrace. She couldn't feel anything.

"It is with great honor that I personally welcome Bunk Bed Junction into NSR!" Tatiana moved her arms in a grand sweeping motion. "To the rightful winners of the Lights Up audition!"

The audience cheered. She turned to face the crowd, hand-in-hand with Tatiana.

They looked... different. Their skin lacked the vibrant rainbow hue she remembered. The eyes had become completely black. Their teeth had disappeared, leaving gaping black maws with small tongues awkwardly floating in their mouths. And that was only the front row. Silhouettes danced in repetitive motions, as if to some indiscernible beat. The cheering could barely not mask a sound of static. She waved enthusiastically at the crowd. No response. The static slowly but steadily grew.

"We have much to discuss, but first, come along. Our ride is here."

A limo pulls up, gliding as if there is no pavement under it at all. It is impossibly new-looking. The reflection did not show anyone in it's sleek black surface when approached. She pulls it open for Zuke. It's become evident to her that he looks different due to him losing fine detail. All chips, cracks, scars and even details on hair were banished. As if life was covered by a drape of textures. The more the drive wears on the more the three people in the velvet red room of the limo change. They become simpler. She could swear each time she turned for the conversation each person would look flatter and more like plastic. their words were near intelligible with the static eating each voice slowly and gradually. All this time she doesn't react. she nods, she laughs, she responds. Each action is dull. As if she's looking through somebody else's eyes. She manages to look out the window. The background scrolls, the same objects move past, nothing is familiar. They pull up to the tower.

Tatiana speaks like she's underwater. Blunt noise. Nothing more than a mumble. She responds after Zuke opens the door. The tower has lost all semblance of the material it's made of. Tatiana glides over to the door, but Mayday runs ahead of her and makes it before the woman can open the invisible glass. Mayday holds the door open for the two and beckons Zuke in. Tatiana makes noise.

Zuke is somewhat jagged looking. Elbows bend at tight right angles. His hair is no longer individual strands near his head. It's a large tube that resembles a slick cylinder. The ends don't have his signature burned tips dangling. It's just a color change. His fingers have no callouses when he waves and his fingers have become square. It's almost as if his fingernails are painted on. His shirt looks to be part of his body as well as his pants. His shoes don't even separate from his feet. She barely manages to catch his face as he speaks to the back of Tatiana. His face is just a pointed piece of geometry with textures on it. As he speaks the texture changes between an open and closed state. She didn't catch what he said. Before she can even think to respond the elevator door opens. He waits for her. She runs up to Tatiana: Tatiana's face is flat textures. The woman turns to "look" out the window.

She cannot see more than a few feet. The skybox is tight. The picture is a cheap imitation of the view of the city she knows. She turns to Zuke to excitedly say something. His torso is clipping through the ground. He gives her a thumbs up. The hand is a lump of geometry with a paper like texture draped over it and a small triangle pointed outward for the thumb. The model is lackadaisically held by the position of his hand. It wobbles slightly even as the floor consumes it. She wishes she could look away but she isn't in control. She's dully aware she's speaking. She can't tell if it responds. The hand is the last to sink. If it can even be called a hand. The doors would have opened if it had still existed.

She runs to the room she knows should have a clock under it. It lacks any textures. Everything is primary colors. The static is deafening. She looks out over what should be workers and waves at the limp polygonal and textureless bodies laying akimbo on the floor. Some clip. The static grows so loud the world starts to fuzz. She can't hear. She can't think. Her hand becomes more abstract.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mayday woke with a start. Blugh... Her hands were gripping Zuke's hair with a vengeance. She was in a cold sweat. She is going to have to wash the sheets when Zuke wakes up. Speaking of Zuke...? She carefully pushed herself up.

He was still a real guy. No N64 texture shit. Even in the meager lighting she could see the soft contours of his face. She barely resisted putting her hand to his sideburns. Instead she pushed herself off of the inflatable mattress as carefully as she could. The only time she could sneak around Zuke was when he slept. A nice luxury of being around when the dude was out like a light. That and that he never let down his hair unless he was SURE he was alone otherwise. He was smiling a bit too wide, gripping the blanket like he was wringing it. 

**OH.** Dude was flying full mast... Good for him? He needed some happiness. Perhaps her earlier attempt hadn't hit a wall as badly as she had feared. At least it wasn't as bad a dream as hers. She hoped he was at least dreaming of her. She stared longingly at him for a bit.

It felt like he'd only slow down for sleep nowadays. Before, it was almost impossible to make the man get up on some days, whether it was his leg or the whole depressive episodes when she first met him. Now he was going so fast, doing so much.

She felt like there was barely any time for her. Even now, she could reach out and touch him... But he wasn't there. Not really. He was somewhere in his own world. She slowly tore her eyes away to the dresser. Nah. Jim-jams. No need to wake Zuke with a squeaky piece of sidewalk shit just for vanity.

Mayday snuck out the door to their little apartment. Thankfully the Christmas lights provided an ambient enough light for her to navigate through the random crap she stole for transfer between worlds. It was admittedly creepy in the dim lighting of the lonely room. Nobody really visited them anymore since she started her collection. That just made her sad so she would steal more. Problem solved. The decrepit building had been patched quite nicely but even so, the piles of cds, vinyls (heh), posters, books, even SOME games (Tatiana drew the line at stealing electronics unless they were necessities) were always a concern. Her hard won collection was going to be the talk of the whole world back home!

Speaking of which, she located her phone and pulled up "Mayday's Morbid Calendar for Weirdos." Two birthdays and a single death. She marked each and took some time to stare at the photos. Shame that those were the majority of photos she saved. The couch beckoned her from the depressing world of her personal daily record-keeping. She spun on her heels then flopped back first into the welcoming furniture.

Mayday pulled the cheap, used Metallica blanket they'd managed to afford on ad revenue over her legs. The Switch with No Straight Roads in it was passed like a torch between members of their ragtag survivor group, with her being the person it fell to today. She'd taken an interest in speedrunning the game. It felt only natural after having lived through it herself. She mained Zuke. Something about the way her model curled up and died felt too... visceral...for her liking. Plus she liked seeing him running about in the approximation of Vinyl. It was cute dragging him to the places she remembered (the only place that hurt to visit there was the Hungry Hideout). Even so, when she wasn't on a run she'd sometimes visit Aunty just to hear her for a bit. It was neat how she could jump on the rooftop like she used to even if dropping ice cubes on people wasn't something she could do anymore. In her mind she could still feel the cold tables under her hand. The cloth she used to use to clean them with when Aunty needed a helping hand.The sounds of people scurrying about, going about their lives. Even the smell of roti and nasi lemak came to her when she closed her eyes. God, she missed it.

Oh. She'd been sitting there with the Switch in her hands, hadn't she? Well, she might as well mute the thing and practice until Zuke got up. It was clunky, but Kliff had insisted they get the Switch version when they were hiding out. Until she got a compy of her own the Switch was good for practicing on. Even if the that version was the worst. Something about nobody being able to track them. She wanted to tell him that nobody would care unless they popped up but that man had insisted and even managed to wire money from a bank for the console and game (DAMN. Technopath-proofing was something she never really cared about before, but...). She muted the thing and loaded the game anyways. Maybe she should just delete the second file again but she'd gotten flak from Yinu for deleting a game she didn't ask everyone about. Some of them were _preeettty_ scared about wiping files. It really didn't matter, though. It's not like the game was the real thing. Who to target was the question? If Yinu didn't understand then maybe she should try to perfect parry her stage. Heh. Yeah. That would take her mind off of things quite nicely.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Switch had been turned off. It didn't make her feel that much better and she'd ragequit. She'd resorted to curling up in the curve of the couch with her face jammed in the corner between the cushions and back.The sounds of various people moving overhead would wake Zuke soon.if not that then his alarm would. Occasionally she'd catch a stray feeling from people coming close to their rooms. Spikes, dripping, drag, and... blume, tear, and static? OH. That must be Zuke waking up. Before she could wriggle herself out from the couch, the door flew open.

"MAYDAY!"

She pulled herself up.

"Looks like you had an exciting night. Happy to see me?"

She threw off the blanket and turned to see him. Ohhh no. He was in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. His eyes were wide and he was shaking. His fingernails dug into the doorway for support. Zuke immediately gave off guilt when he saw her.

"I'm f-"

"SHOWER." He stated and rushed into their bathroom.

Oof. Poor guy. Eve mentioned something once about his wires getting crossed when he got too stressed. Must have had a bit of a black fantasy.. Not that she could trust herself when it came to reading Zuke. He always mystified her when it came to telling what he felt. Zuke was an enigma but she loved him. She'd been good at reading a room since she was young, but this man confused her. He felt like he had abnormally high emotions but acted super chill. She should try to do something when he came out of the shower. Make him feel less bad about this. That's what _couples_ did, right? First she needed his hair pin. He wasn't going to be happy if ANYONE saw him without his hair up. She carefully walked into the bedroom with only a passing glance to the bathroom.

She found the double-sided eyeball pin in the first drawer of the nightstand. The two-toned hairpin had all of it's metal rods in a haphazard pile beneath it.The rounded ends of the rods wiggled slightly when picked up even without the ridiculous amount of hair that would be soon threaded through it. Mayday carefully picked up the hollow pin and resisted the urge to toss the thing. It would land with a satisfying thud but Zuke loved this stupid thing. So no spiking it against the ground. It wasn't really out of malice but an innate desire to throw. Even if she was so jealous he still kept the stupid thing. She remembered thinking that he bought it from Dreamfever before Bunk Bed Junction Boogie. Still kind of a shock that this guy from nowhere hooked up with miss priss, herself. Even if she now knew Eve wasn't as refined as she let on. She opened the door and switched the main lights. Now she sat on the couch and waited.

Sure enough he came out, sopping wet in a towel, with his hair obscuring his look of shame. Almost dead-eyed. She walked over to him cautiously. She knew Zuke knew where she was even without him looking at her as she came in front of him. His face lit up on seeing her hand him his hairpin.

"Thanks." he said. He even flashed her a weak smile.

He wrung out his box braids Into a puddle on the floor (thankfully not near anything that could be ruined with water) before taking the pin and threading the rods through the strands. They locked into the pin with a satisfying pop.

"Hey. You know there isn't anything to be ashamed of, right?"

He sighed. "Yeah. I'm... just having a hard time. I'm glad you're here."

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You know, it happens to everyone from time to time."

Zuke's face wrinkled incredulously.

"You aren't alone in this, ok? I'm going to be here for you through thick and thin."

He started to (almost) relax. He looked slightly to the right and then stared into her eyes. His smile then turned genuine. "Thanks. Sorry I freaked out a bit."

"Maybe I can help. We can always roleplay if you really need to... work it out. As long as nobody gets...."

Ohshit! She could FEEL the mood drop harder than a lead balloon. His color drained so fast and his face went from soft happiness to sheer terror in seconds. WOW. That was some pure panic. She could swear that anyone could taste the static if they walked by. Zuke ran past Mayday. She couldn't tell if he was crying when she briefly saw his face due to just being out of the shower. He slammed the bedroom door shut with the extra click of the lock following soon after. She didn't even realize her hand had flown up to try and reach out to him until her pupils had started to expand again. Ah. She'd messed up somehow...

He was likely preparing for his day while in a tizzy. It took an hour before the feelings of guilt, fear, and overwhelming panic died down. At some point she'd debated turning on the console just so he could unlock the bedroom to tell her he didn't want to hear that. She decided against it. In the end she just knocked on the door.

"I... Yyyou can't come in here. Sorry. I- I need a lot of space right now.." Zuke sputtered.

"I need to get dressed."

"Ohhh. Just...please give me space." He unlocked the door after fumbling for like a minute.

They awkwardly went about their preparations. She had to turn away from the wall to prevent Zuke from seeing her back. (Nobody got to see that.) When she took off of her shirt she felt blume from Zuke. She turned to him and sure enough he'd been staring. Dude was interested but he turned away as soon as he saw her head move. Mayday put her top on quietly. She felt like she had to say something to slay the monster of awkward feelings that was growing in the room.

"You know, I-if you want to go back to being just friends I wouldn't mind."

He turned to her quickly.

She continued. "O-or even friends with _benefits_...But whatever you want to do, we'll still be Bunk Bed Junction. Whatever we are together, I'll still be with you. Sooo don't feel bad if you need to say stuff."

Zuke sighed. He wore a worn look on his face. "May, I want to be a couple. I've just got some issues I'm dealing with. I'm not quitting or anything but I'm trying my hardest to not fall apart. I... I just need..." His voice got quiet. "More time..."

"Let's meet up for lunch today. You'll be doing stuff for everyone else all day, right? So let's just do something at lunch, just the two of us. It's been a while since we did something. You need time for yourself, and frankly, I feel lonely."

He muttered, "Has it really been that long.."

"Yes."

"Alright. I've got eleven thirty open. West isn't going to be too happy with me cutting time short, but after yesterday he kind of deserves it."

She chuckled.

They attended to their respective things. But Zuke's mood was so much better (If her intuition could be trusted at this time). She re-braided her hair and stole glances at Zuke who was fiddling with his phone.

"Do you have any pics from home?"

She practically choked on her air. Zuke rushed over to her. He put his hands on her arm and stared her in the face. "May! Are you ok?"

"Yeah ... Just didn't expect that. Most of my pics are no good. Why d'you ask?" (Shit that was a clumsy question..)

"I just wanted to see something from home."

"I got a pic of Aunty-"

"Nevermind."

Most of the time they spent together went without a hitch. A simple get-together was just what she needed to rest easy tonight. All in all, she was worried about a lot, but the casual atmosphere that they tried to keep up helped. She remained hopeful. If nobody else in this building could, she knew it was up to her to hope for the best, in this and for the future. Only time would tell if she wasn't right, but until then she'd be right by default. Even if the undercurrent of tension remained. 

She'd be doing her own thing, until around eleven, to prepare for their lunch. She waved when he left to start his day.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was six at night. Nothing. No calls, no peeking into the room, no sending someone over to get her. No nothing. Mayday was past done. The familiar feeling of someone coming to the door was met with equal disappointment as she recognized that it was probably Kliff on the way to the staircase for Tatiana's floor. Mayday had retreated to her room around two with an unfinished egg roll, a half eaten apple, and a microwaved meat lasagna. She'd gotten some mac and cheese ramen as well as those animal crackers Zuke liked and even a small burger for him. All ice-cold by now. She'd resorted to watching a dude stream some game about dating pigeons. They were on the rock-dove when she felt someone from her own life approach.

Her heart skipped a beat before she bitterly tried to not get her hopes up. The ever-present feeling of tear that accompanied Zuke came into focus. She could make out wobble but paid it no mind. She was fed up. Even when he opened the door and slowly sauntered into the room she never turned to him. Instead she furiously attempted to project her emotions. Even if it never works. Even if he was thicker than a brick and had never felt it before. If only he could just read the room like a normal person. It would be so much easier.

 _"Gee,_ it sure is late for eleven thirty, huh?"

No response.

"Oh, you sure are busy with everyone else, aren't you? No time for me, hmm?"

Nada.

"Nothing to say? G o o d. I-"

She turned to see Zuke shaking, pale, sweaty and steadying himself against the wall with his hand. His head was down and he seemed distant. He slowly started to tip to the side. She knew he was going to fall. It was a mad scramble over the couch before he beaned himself on the bookshelf. Mayday barely caught him in time. He was still awake, the fact she could feel his dizziness attested to that that. He blinked slowly.

"Hey May."

"Don't you 'hey' ME! Damnit I should have known you were skipping meals again! God, Are you trying to kill yourself? First when we find out and now?!" She quickly glanced at the cold food on the table."Stay here while I get you something to eat."

She sat him down gently with his back against the wall. The apple was oxidized badly but damn if he didn't need something. She scooped up the crackers as well and made a bee-line for the dizzy man.

"Eat." Mayday shoved the apple in his face. He turned his head to the side. "NO. You eat this or I will shove this apple down your damn THROAT. Damn it Zuke. I thought you were getting better. You can't do this again."

"I-"

"No words- Just apple."

It took him a bit and he winced when he saw how oxidized it was but he got it down. Even ate a bit of the core. The weirdo. She handed him some of the crackers and he graciously scoffed them. After a while he pulled his knees close to him. His hand went to his hair.

"I don't know what I am anymore Mayday."

"You're Zuke."

"But... What does that mean? I.... I feel like I'm outrunning an avalanche. All of the little stupid choices I made, I told myself that they didn't matter. I never wanted what I got, I told myself there wasn't anyone to blame. Even if it really isn't anyone's fault. It's like... I'm drowning each time I slow down. It's just too much."

"Don't worry about it. When we ge-"

 **"STOP SAYING THAT.** God it hurts so much each time I hear that."

"Why doesn't anyone else still believe we'll get home?"

"I-I can't keep waking up and pretending like there's going to be some way home we haven't tried yet. If-if this interview doesn't work then... I can't keep hurting myself with hope."

"We got here, we can get back. I know it." She put her arm round him. "Until then I'll stop talking about it."

"Thanks." He leaned into her.

"BUT you have to spend more time with me. And dragging me along to your appointments doesn't count."

Zuke sighed. "Fiine. What do you want to do? I'm open to suggestions."

"Date night."

"Do I get to choose the place?"

Mayday scoffed."Why wouldn't you get to?"

He thought for a moment.

"Canada. I want maple syrup."

What? She turned to face him with the most confused look she could. "We... We have maple syrup at home." Her arm gestured to the kitchen. "It's in the middle of winter, too. Why the heck do you want to 

"I want to try it fresh. I mean I always kind of wanted to and you didn't say It had to be at the fanciest restaurant or anything." They both stared laughing at that. She let her eyes drift to the cold meal on their table when the laughter died down.

She squeezed his hand tighter. Things would look up. She was sure of it.

**Chapter theme is Lauryn Hill's Ex-factor. Dream theme is Yume Nikki OST: Guillotine World increasing in volume.**

**Author's Note:**

> They say NSR isn't therapy But writing these has helped me so much. Writing therapy is therapy, too! Whatever helps you cope as long as nobody actually gets hurt. Also I remember basing Mayday's ability off of two whole lines in the game. What could be so subtle and ever-present that the user would have no clue that it wasn't normal? Next chapter is basically me projecting onto my fave. I want to write Zuke with serious issues (I have had) and he's just had a major traumatic event. Self care is never easy for me when I get over-stressed.


End file.
